


Pokemon-Human Transgenic Syndrome

by Zee_McZed



Category: El Goonish Shive, Pokemon - Fandom
Genre: Crack Treated Semi-Seriously, Crossover, Gen, Inspiration from early installment weirdness, Pokemon/Human Hybrids, TF, TW: Hospitals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29826180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zee_McZed/pseuds/Zee_McZed
Summary: In the school paper prototype of EGS, Sarah was turned into a Pikachu girl by mistake.What if we took that concept and ran with it?What if we made it a full crossover with Pokemon?What if this was an increasingly non-rhetorical question?
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	Pokemon-Human Transgenic Syndrome

Sarah wiped her brow, then reached into her jacket and pulled out her badge case again. She’d finally gotten her third. Greg was a notoriously tough gym leader, but she’d been training her team hard, and they’d squeaked out a win by pure speed and good offensive tactics (a damned good thing, too, because that Machoke of his hit like a truck). She felt something clamber up her leg and perch on her shoulder, followed by a trilling noise.

“Yeah, you did great, Grace.” She scratched her sentret’s head. The fuzzy little squirrel pokemon chirruped again, and then nudged her. Sarah turned to look at her. Her eyes were hooded, and she had the slightest frown on her face, her ears drooping. “Hey. Something wrong, girl?” Another chirp. Grace nudged her again. Sarah wiped the sweat from her brow again - damn, it was hot today. You’d think the shade from all the trees would make that better. She sat down on the grass, digging into her backpack - and then paused. And reached over and squeezed Grace’s little paws. They were  _ swollen.  _ Unnaturally so, the sentret’s fuzzy little digits bulging until they were nearly the width of her own fingers. Her legs looked swollen too - bulbous. Overall, Grace just looked… wrong. Sarah swallowed hard. “I’d say you got stung by a weedle or something, but it doesn’t really look like it.” Another chirp from Grace, who shook her head. “Well… we’ll get you to the pokemon center, stat. But until then, maybe some antidote will take down the swe-e-e-” Her words trailed off as she suddenly fell to the side, losing all sense of balance. The sweat was back again, almost dripping off her. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. She’d felt unusually hot, but hadn’t thought anything of it. Fatigued, but she was hiking, that was normal. Right? She looked at her hands. Swollen fingertips. Just a little, but definitely swollen. And it hadn’t been a moment ago. She squeezed one; it was tender, and to her shock, her fingernail fell off. Sarah fumbled for her phone, head reeling. She called the emergency line. It rang once.    
  
“Emergency services.” Silence. “Hello?” Grace chirped into the phone. Sarah tried to force out a sound, but nothing was coming. Her mouth wasn’t moving. “Hello?” Another chirp, louder, from Grace. “...we’re sending someone out to your location. Can you hear me?” Sarah nodded - but it wasn’t a video connection. She punched the 0 key - and -    
  
Everything went black.

-o-

“Six more from the forest!” Tedd groaned, rubbing his head.    
  
“Thanks, El. What’s the verdict?”

“One of them had severe tachycardia. All have the fever.”

“Secondaries?”

“Dude. It’s  _ weird  _ that you’re referring to  _ severe physical transformation  _ as secondary here.”

“So far not one of the transformations has been life threatening. Secondaries?”

“All accounted for.” Ellen sighed, rubbing her brow. She wasn’t cut out to be a nurse, but search and rescue duty suited her just fine. “Same symptoms, different breeds. And, uh. Both ways.” 

Tedd cursed quietly. He didn’t know exactly what it translated to, only that it was Alolan and evidently mild enough that 10 year olds thought it was both impolite and hilarious. “So the initial reports were true… do you know what this is going to do to our local populations? I mean, it’s one thing if it spreads through humans-”

“Hey. It’s - it’s not spreading through wild `mon that we know of. At least, uh. Not yet. So it probably  _ still  _ needs humans to act as a carrier.”

“...so the `mon that changed…?”

“Um. It’s definitely a partner `mon.” Ellen bit her lip. Tedd leaned in. 

“We know them.”

“Yeah.” Ellen took a deep breath. “She’s stable. Both - both of them are stable. Fever’s breaking, and-”

“Ellen.”

“Sarah.” Ellen answered the unspoken question. “Sarah and Grace.”

“ _ What? _ ” Tedd was on his feet before he realized he’d moved, nearly spilling his coffee. He would have been out the door already, but Ellen grabbed him by the collar and hauled him back. 

“ _ Tedd.  _ Stop.” She glowered at him. “Docs are still looking them over. You stick here, you do  _ your  _ thing, you leave the doctoring to the doctors. Got it?”

“I - y -” He stammered a second, and then nodded. 

“Good. You’ve got the data. Talk to me here.” 

“Shouldn’t you be-”

“I have my pager.” Ellen sat on his desk. Tedd sighed and nodded a few times, finally taking a seat next to her. 

“The reports are… explosive. Looks like it spread outwards from Kanto. Probably from a major population center. Going by numbers, probably Viridian. It spread out from there.”

“Okay. And?”

“And… that’s all I have. No precise point of origin. Spectacular rise, spectacular drop off. It’s probably man-made. The structures are all wrong - that’s why it’s dying off so quickly. It probably wasn’t meant to go airborne.” Tedd rubbed his eyes. He needed more coffee. Or tea. Or something. “It - it was probably - and this is speculation, but all the data holds up so far - a synthetic retrovirus designed to selectively paste pokemon traits into human DNA… and then…”

“And then?”

“Mutation. That’s what happens when you bodge your disease together with  _ ditto  _ genetics.” 

“So bring it all together here. You’re a Verres, give me that good hit of exposition. What now?”

“Now…” Tedd sighed. “...depending on spread, anywhere from a hundred thousand to a couple million infectees. The transformations are permanent. Now…” He trailed off. Cleared his throat. “Now I need to call Sarah’s parents. And Susan. And…”

“I told Elliot.”

“Good.” Tedd cleared his throat quietly. “...I do need to see her. See - see what this did to her. I mean, even if she’s past the dangerous part…” Ellen rolled her eyes. He knew that look. That was the ‘I can’t stop you but I’m going to at least slow you down’ look. 

“Make the calls. I’ll meet you at the ER.”

-o-

“Good morning, Julian. Good morning, Elim.” Susan looked like she’d been hit by a truck. Disheveled and slumping, with dark circles under her eyes. Her two pokemon companions were visibly worried - well,  _ one  _ of them was. Her umbreon proceeded to jump up on the coatrack, clinging to a mostly disused overcoat to nuzzle at her side, while her espeon looked up from the floor with a casual stare that suggested he just wanted to know if she was coming home to feed him. She sighed, scruffing Julian’s head, and beckoned for Elim to follow. “In the off chance I haven’t said it lately, you’re kind of an ass, Elim.”    
  
“Mow.”

“I couldn’t take you with me, it’s a hospital.”

“Mow.”

“Do you really think they’d believe that you’re a helper pokemon?”

“Mo~oow.”

“I’m  _ not  _ nonverbal.” She glowered at the espeon. He snorted - a barely audible  _ whuff  _ of air from his nose - and nudged his food dish. She relented, splitting a can of tuna between the two. Julian nibbled, and continued to headbutt her leg. “I’m  _ fine.  _ She’s going to be okay. She, uh… she  _ did  _ get the thing.” Julian started eating, and Elim stopped and stared at her. “Her survival rate is basically a hundred percent right now.” Elim cocked his head. Susan shook hers. “I’m serious. In the first week of this, they didn’t know what they were dealing with. Now, it’s… it’s  _ extremely peculiar _ , but she’s going to be okay.” Elim padded over to his brother and bapped him on the head with a paw. Julian stopped eating. The two shared a mostly silent conversation, and then Elim pointed to the door. “What? I-”

“ **MOW** .”

“It’s not going to do any good for me to be there. She’s just  _ sleeping. _ ”

“Mow.”

“ _ Elim.  _ No. I’m fine. And  _ I need sleep too,  _ and I’m not going to get any in the waiting room.” A long beat passed. Trainer and pokemon glared at each other. A moment passed. Julian bapped Elim on his forehead - and finally the espeon let out another little snort and silently went to eat his meal. Susan nodded. “We’ll be there for her when she gets out. Just… let me get some rest, okay?”

-o-

Sarah woke up.    
  
The forest? She remembered… being in the forest. That was it. Where was she?

Hospital.

Nothing else smelled like a hospital, and this smelled  _ more  _ like a hospital than any hospital she’d ever been in. 

She stirred.    
  
She sat up.    
  


She screamed.    
  
Fur. She had fur. She had fur and she had a tail and she had  _ claws- _   
  
She vaguely processed the nurses rushing in. A doctor standing next to her, trying to talk to her. But she’d caught her face in the mirror over the room’s sink and couldn’t look away.    
  
She was a pikachu.   
  
She was still a human - but she was a  _ pikachu. _   


**Author's Note:**

> To be continued, of course. 
> 
> Please check out my original works and tipjar at Patreon dot com slash ZeeMcZed.


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